Still Going, a series of Oneshots
by MoxxieRusso
Summary: A series of after series Oneshots. PLEASE READ READY, STEADY, GO! FIRST, IT IS THE PREDECESSOR FOR THIS STORY. THIS STORY CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS FOR READY, STEADY, GO!
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome back to the story of Johanna and Edward! As promised this story will feature a series of one shots that look into Johanna and Edward's life AFTER the door. This story will feature shorter chapters, as it's a oneshot compilation! there will be time skips and major cannon plot points that are my own fannon. **

**PLEASE READ ****READY, STEADY, GO!**** FIRST, IT IS THE PREDECESSOR FOR THIS STORY. THIS STORY CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS FOR ****READY, STEADY, GO!**

* * *

It had been nearly a week since Johanna had returned to Amestris from beyond the door. It had been decided that she would be living with

Edward in the house he had built on the same plot as his childhood home. Johanna was happy that she had been able to make it for Alphonse's wedding, that she'd been able to see him for a few days before he and Mae Chang left for Xing. The blushing bride was just as excited to see Johanna as Alphonse was and was more than happy to postpone their honeymoon.

During this time, Johanna also got to spend time with Winry and her Fiancé, Paninya, who Johanna was told had met Winry during her trip to Rush Valley. It was Paninya's boss whose baby Edward and Winry had helped birth. The baby, who was 5 now, only served as a bittersweet reminder of Maes Hughes, so besides formal introductions, the Blonde woman barely spoke about it. Instead, today Winry and Paninya we're helping Johanna unpack Alphonse's room, to make space for Johanna to live.

"You know, you really shouldn't be carrying that box. Edward will kill you." Winry said quietly from the bedroom door. Johanna groaned, turning where she stood.

"It's just a box of books." She sighed, placing them on her bed. She tried her best not to show it, but her arms were throbbing from the atrophy they faced on the other side. "Besides, Doctor Knox says that whatever I'm up for I'm okay to do, as long as I don't over exert myself. I'm still capable of doing things."

"I know, Jo, but I think Edward just wants you to rest. You've had a tough week and that's why we stayed a few extra days." Winry gave Johanna a small smile, crossing the room to her. Silently, she picked up one of the volumes, an old alchemy text of Hohenheim's that Alphonse used during his studies. "You know what?" Johanna looked at her expectantly. "You can take this one box while Paninya and I get us something to drink. But then you have to rest." Winry leveled a finger at Johanna, one that nearly touched her nose.

"I promise." Johanna grinned, hiking the box into her arms. Winry shook her head, leading Johanna to the attic steps.

"Take the box up then meet us in the kitchen. We'll make lunch as well. Edward should be home in a little while from dropping Al and Mae off at the train station." Winry waved her off, heading down the basement steps . She stopped mid way down, making sure that Johanna was okay on the stairs before heading off to the kitchen, leaving Johanna to her own devices.

The climb up the stairs wasn't incredibly hard, but it was long. The box of books was much heavier than when she started and Johanna stumbled across the floor towards the back of the attic, where they were storing Al's old stuff. With a sigh, she heaved the box onto the floor, kicking up a cloud of dust in it's wake. After her coughing fit subsided, Johanna stared at the volumes in the box, running her finger over the back of one.

"You boys and your alchemy." Johanna said, grabbing the book. With a sigh, Johanna ran her fingers down the front cover, flipping it open to the first page. There, above the title, was signed Hoenhiem's name. Seeing it made her tummy ache and she frowned, closing the book and bending over to return it to the box. As she bent down, beneath the dust, Johanna saw a faintly drawn, chalk, and without thinking she dropped to her knees, gently blowing away the dust.

* * *

It had been nearly a half hour since Winry came to the kitchen with Paninya. They pair started on lunch and before long Edward had returned home.

"Hey, how'd today go?" He asked, placing his hat and tie on the kitchen table.

"It went well, we got most of the room cleaned out. It's ready to fill with her things." Winry told him briefly looking up from the pot.

"When she gets them." Edward told her, a bit more harsh than was necessary. Winry froze, frowning up at him quietly.

"Right, of course." She said, returning to the pot she was working on. Edward stopped, looking around the kitchen quietly.

"Where is Jo?" He asked, crossing to the doorway that led to the living room and stairs. He knew he didn't pass her on his way in.

"She's in the attic. She wanted to take a box up there." Winry shrugged.

"What?! Why are you letting her carry things up the steps? The doctor said she should take it easy!" Edward scolded her.

"_Doctor Knox_ said that she shouldn't over exert herself, but whatever she was up for would be good for her muscles." Winry turned from the stew accusatory, regurgitating Johanna's words. "She isn't a baby Edward!" Edward said nothing, instead turning furiously from the kitchen door. Winry followed him, giving Paninya and short glare as she did.

"Lifting heavy things is not good for her body. She needs to work up to lifting!"

"It was a box of books, Edward! It wasn't anything crazy!" Winry shouted, following him up the stairs.

"Jo?" Edward asked as he enter Alphonse's room. To both their surprise, it was empty. Edward turned to look at Winry.

"She must still be in the attic." Winry said, her bravado fading. The pair exchanged worried glances and Edward was the first to the attic ladder, scaling it easily.

"Johanna?" He called as he got to the top. Narrowing his eyes, Edward searched the attic for her, only able to see so far in front of his face. "Jo?" He called again as he pulled himself up. In the far corner he could see several boxes labelled "Alphonse" and as his eyes adjusted, another figure came into view, the figure of an unconscious Johanna. "shit!" He shouted, running across the room.

"Jo!" Winry shouted as she too saw her unconscious form. As the pair joined Johanna at her side, Edward could see that she'd managed to find the transmutation circle he'd wrote out to bring her back. It was unused, Alphonse wouldn't allow it, which is what started the fight between them all those years ago. Edward had felt spurned. "Edward, what is this?" Winry asked him, but Edward was not here to answer her questions.

"Get out." He told her quietly, kneeling beside Johanna. The girl was _reeling_, spasming and twitching on the floor. Her eyes were open, but they couldn't see anything as they were rolled back into her head, and he jaw hung slack.

"Put her on her side Edward-" Winry tried to instruct him.

"I said get out!" He repeated. Winry glared at the boy but she did not move.

"No. I'm here to help you!" Winry told him stubbornly.

"You've helped enough!"

"I'm sorry I left her alone, Edward. I'm sorry." Winry told him, watching as he pulled Johanna into his arms. Winry frowned, placing a hand on his arm. "but let me be here for you." She pleaded with him. With a nod, Edward finally did as he was told by Winry, placing her on her side

"Jo, it's okay, I'm here." He cried kissing her temple. Beside him, Winry shifted closer, wrapping her arms around his shoulder and placing her head against his. In that moment Edward felt his facade soften as his eyes began to sting. "I'm sorry I left you, I won't do it okay!" He practically begged.

They sat like that for good only knows how long before Johanna's shuddering began to slow, finally ceasing. It was oddly silent in that attic, unnervingly so, as the pair held their friend in their arms. All Edward wanted was to see her eyes again and all he could do was hope until they opened.


	2. Chapter 2

**PLEASE READ ****READY, STEADY, GO!**** FIRST, IT IS THE PREDECESSOR FOR THIS STORY. THIS STORY CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS FOR ****READY, STEADY, GO!**

**Also, exciting news for everyone; this has turned into a FULL FLEDGED SEQUEL! I'm actually really excited for what this story has entail for you guys!**

* * *

Doctor Knox came and went that night. He'd managed to talk Johanna down from her ledge and gotten her into bed. Now he sat in the sitting room with Paninya, Winry and a disgruntled Edward. Doctor Knox sighed, taking his glasses off and cleaning them on his shirt.

"What was she doing in that attic?" Knox asked finally. The room remained quiet, which only served to aggravate him more. "I specifically told her to take it easy so what _happened_?" He growled.

"I'm sorry, it was my fault." Winry piped up, closing her eyes. "She said she could handle the books so I let her go up alone while I made lunch!" Winry cried, burying her face in her hands. Paninya frowned at her, wrapping her arms around her shoulder.

"It's not your fault." She cooed to her fiance.

"And where were you?!" Knox demanded Edward. "I left this girl in your care, so where were you?"

"I had to take Al and Mae Chang to the train station!" Edward shouted at the man. "If I'd known this was going to happen I would have stayed!" Edward told him obviously.

"Alphonse and Mae Chang are adults, Edward. They can walk _themselves_ to the train station!" Know yelled. Taking a deep breath, Knox replaced his glasses on his nose and he frowned at the three in front of him. "Miss Allen is very frail right now. Any stress or labor could seriously hurt her. She needs to regain some weight and more of her strength before she can do things, that includes moving books." He sighed. "I'm afraid what a _seizure_ might do for her recovery." Again the room went quiet. "She's not the same woman she was and her care needs to reflect that!"

Edward frowned, turning to the stairs. Without another word, he ascended, his feet disappearing past the landing.

"Edward!" Know called, but to know response. With a groan, he turned back to the women on the couch. "I'm afraid he's going to push her too hard."

* * *

Edward slowed as he walked down the hallway, stoping quietly outside of Johanna's door. As he peered through the crack he was surprised to find that Johanna was awake, watching him through the crack.

"Jo...hanna?" Edward said quietly, surprised, letting himself into her room. Johanna watched him quietly before looking up at the ceiling above her head. Edward paused in the middle of her room and she cleared her throat.

"What was that, Edward?" She asked finally, her voice hoarse and quiet. Edward froze where he stood, his eyes finding the ceiling that she was still looking at. With a sigh, Edward pulled up a nearby chair. Johanna winced as the sound nearly broke her head in two.

"It was my circle… I tried to bring you back." Edward told her. Johanna felt her heart begin to ache and she did not look away from the ceiling above her. Slowly she reached her hands to her face, covering her eyes as they threatened tears. All Edward could do was watch Johanna quietly. "Jo-"

"Why would you do such a _stupid_ thing?" Johanna said suddenly, catching Edward off guard. Johanna wiped her eyes, glaring at Edward quietly, waiting for his response.

"B-because you were gone, Jo. You were just… just _gone_!" His voice cracked, his hands shaking in his lap. "What was I supposed to do?"

"You were supposed to live your life!" She spat at him angrily. "Whether is was with me or without me you were supposed to just move on!"

"I never promised you that!" He shouted at her, standing from his chair. "I never promised that I would do that because that's a promise I couldn't keep!" Edward knelt at Johanna's side, reaching for her hands that she wouldn't give. "Can't you see? I love you, Johanna. I can't go on without you."

"And what if it would've worked? You would've just left me behind." Johanna asked him with wild eyes. She sobbed, again covering her face with her hands. Edward couldn't help but notice how tiny her arms were. She looked about as bad as Alphonse had when he's returned.

"I didn't think about that… besides, it wouldn't have worked anyways, I have no alchemy."

"You never think, Edward." Johanna sobbed, pointing to her door. "Please just go." She said after a long pause. Edward's heart broke and he turned to look at her door with sad eyes.

"Johanna-"

"Please just _go_." Johanna cried again. Edward stood from her bedside, glancing at her once more before leaving her room and shutting her door.

Johanna could hear him in the hallway stalking to his room. She could hear every footstep as he crossed to his bed, burying his face in his pillow to shout his frustration into it. As he screamed, Johanna began to cry, her tears relentless. No matter how hard she swiped at her sullen face, they kept coming.

_Stop crying you stupid idiot__._ She told herself over and over, but it was no use.


	3. Chapter 3

**PLEASE READ ****READY, STEADY, GO!**** FIRST, IT IS THE PREDECESSOR FOR THIS STORY. THIS STORY CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS FOR ****READY, STEADY, GO!**

**Also, exciting news for everyone; this has turned into a FULL FLEDGED SEQUEL! I'm actually really excited for what this story has entail for you guys!**

* * *

"I just don't understand what's wrong with me, I feel broken." Johanna cried, burying her face in her hands. Across the room, Doctor Knox frowned, leaning forward in his chair. He placed a hand on Johanna's knee and she _hiccuped_, looking up at him.

"Why don't you start from the beginning." He asked, squeezing her knee.

"I don't know where that is." She whispered, wiping her eyes on her sweater.

"Well, you've never been this stressed before during our appointments, Johanna. Why don't we start there?" Johanna went quiet for a second, her mind flying back to every night for the past two weeks. It's just been nightmare after nightmare, not to mention the constant spats she had with Edward about his transmutation circle and her potentially using alchemy again.

Johanna's curiosity had been piqued when she found a chalk line on the floor, the gate circle. Innocuous enough, but for her it brought back all of the memories of her past life, starting with the vision of her father sacrificing her. Edward and Winry found her not long after still reeling on the floor. He saved her from her madness that night with a phone call to Doctor Knox, which is why she was here now. It all made her so scared, so frightened of a science that she was once so good at. That science that brought both her and Edward together.

For weeks she'd been seeing Doctor Know as her therapist, not just her primary care physician. It wasn't his forte, but he did his best. She was hoping she'd find some peace in her thoughts, but whenever she did find peace, her nightmares only seemed to return to her ten fold.

"Edward and I have been… at odds." Johanna whispered, playing with the hem of her shirt. Knox raised his eyebrow at her and Johanna cleared her throat. "After he found me that night…"

Doctor Knox froze, inhaling sharply. He remembered that night very clearly. Edward called him, half mad, Johanna had been found in the attic in the middle of a seizure. He said it was bad, like nothing he'd seen out of her before. When Doctor Knox had arrived, Johanna was still in a panic, though finally coherent, and she clung to Edward like a scared child clings to their parent.

"Go on." Knox said quietly after a long lull. Johanna sighed, looking up at him quietly.

"I'm angry with him for what he was going to do." Johanna told him finally.

"To bring you back?" Knox asked.

"Yes." Johanna told him. "Even if it was years ago."

"Why?" Knox asked. Johanna shook her head.

"Because it scares me? Because alchemy ruined his life already and I get so angry that he considered doing it a second time?" Johanna took a deep breath before continuing "He may have told me there was an idea, but he never told me he'd drawn it out!" Johanna cried as she could feel her hands beginning to shake. Slowly she slid them under her thighs. Knox was quicker than that.

"You're shaking."

"I know!" Johanna snapped. With a deep sigh, Johanna sobbed, frowning up at Doctor Knox. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. I pushed you too far." Knox smiled at Johanna, leaning forward. "When I do that, just tell me and we can redirect, alright?"

"Yes." Johanna agreed.

"And what about Edward and your alchemy, is he still pushing you for it?." Doctor Knox asked. Johanna frowned, looking out the window beside her quietly.

"I don't want to do it." She said finally. "I'm terrified of the thought of performing alchemy. After all we've been through I just want him to understand." Johanna told Doctor Knox. Doctor Knox nodded, writing something down in his book.

* * *

The walk home after Johanna's appointment was quiet. They stopped at the graveyard, as they usually did, to pay their respects to Hoenhiem and Trisha, and then made their way home.

"What were you thinking for dinner?" Edward asked Johanna as they entered the house. Johanna shrugged, she hadn't thought about it. With a sigh, Edward turned to Johanna. "Talk to me." He practically begged.

"I don't know what to talk about." Johanna told him honestly. Edward thought for a second, long and hard before smiling.

"You have to pick something for dinner. I'm incapable of making decisions on my own." Edward told her. Johanna smirked at him, rolling her eyes.

"That doesn't surprise me." She told him quietly. Johanna crossed to the fridge, opening it and looking inside. "How about meatloaf?" She offered. Edward smiled at her

"I'd be lost without you." He told her. Johanna froze, turning to look at him. Edward's face nearly racked her to tears. He smiled at her, a smile that reached his eyes. It was warm and it felt like home. "I mean it, Jo. You have no idea how important you are to me."

"All because I picked out dinner?" Johanna brushed off his words with a chuckle, crossing to the cabinet to pull out a mixing bowl. Edward stopped her short, his hand grabbing her wrist.

"No. Because we haven't had a playful conversation in almost a week. I missed it so much." Edward told her quietly. Johanna began to shake her head but Edward shushed her. "I've been there, without you, and I don't want to go back." He paused thinking about how hard their interactions had been recently. "I need you Jo, all of you. Including the parts that you don't like."

"Like my hair?" Johanna joked, the conversation getting too intense. Edward gave her a look.

"No, Jo." He told her plainly. She knew what he was talking about. He meant her agitation. Her nightmares. Her terror and stress.

"I've been so angry lately and I'm sorry." She sighed finally.

"And I'm to blame for that." Edward told her apologetically. "I can't take back what I did, Jo, but I can promise you I will never be reckless like that again."

"I don't deserve you." Johanna told him, cupping his cheek. Edward grinned at her.

"Of course you do." He chuckled, taking her hand in his and kissing it. "I want you to be happy and I'll do anything I have to to make that happen." Johanna tried her best to hide her fear and she took a deep breath. Slowly, she pulled away from him. Does he mean, like, opening a portal to God _again? _

_No Jo, he just said he would never do something so stupid again!_ She lectured herself, biting back the nagging fear and anger.

"I love you." Johanna told him, turning back to the cabinet and grabbing out the bowl. With a sigh, she looked over at Edward, resting her hands on the counter before continuing to mill about the kitchen.

Edward watched her quietly. All he wanted was for her to be happy again. He wished he'd never left the girls in charge of moving that stuff from Alphonse's room up to the attic. He should've done it himself. Edward kicked himself hard for yelling at her that night she'd had the seizure. He should've stayed cool.

"Hey, earth to Edward. Can you help me? I forgot to get the garlic down before I started mixing." Edward blushed, stepping behind Johanna and reaching for the garlic. "Just pour until I say stop" she instructed. Edward did as he was told, smiling when Johanna stopped him.

"Would you like some meatloaf with your garlic?" He teased. Johanna glared at him setting the egg timer and placing the meat in the refrigerator. She crossed to the sink to wash her hands.

"You cook next time." She shot back. Edward smirked, taking Johanna's hand and twirling her into him, she fought back momentarily, only stopping once she'd met his eyes.

"I'm going to kiss you now."

"You don't have to ask anymore." Johanna whispered back, watching his lips intently. With a nod, Edward leaned forward, crashing his lips down onto hers. Johanna returned his kiss feverishly, wrapping her hands around his neck as she pulled him closer. This was one of her favorite things, being here like this with him. She made a mental note that she would live in the present like this more, lingering on their past fights made her tired.


	4. Chapter 4

**PLEASE READ ****READY, STEADY, GO!**** FIRST, IT IS THE PREDECESSOR FOR THIS STORY. THIS STORY CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS FOR ****READY, STEADY, GO!**

**Also, exciting news for everyone; this has turned into a FULL FLEDGED SEQUEL! I'm actually really excited for what this story has entail for you guys!**

* * *

It was a normal day at the Elric household. Edward was out running errands, leaving Johanna happily at home to finish some chores. She didn't like walking all the way into town, not that she was quite ready for the hustle and bustle of the market either. It was a small town, Resembool, people noticed things.

They noticed how sickly she still looked, they noticed how young she was. They noticed how Edward and her were living together but were unwed and they never stopped talking about it. Johanna frowned, placing the plate in the dish rack to dry.

"I hope I'm not such a burden." She muttered, gripping the edge of the sink quietly. A nudge came at her legs, it was Den. "Oh! You must have let yourself in." She muttered, glancing at the doggy door on the back door. The locked doggy door.

"No, we did." Edward said from the doorway, knocking on the door jam quietly. Johanna smiled, turning around quietly. She waved at Edward, removing her apron from around her neck.

"We?" Edward smirked at her, stepping to the side. To her surprise she found Heinkel and Darius waiting in the living room. "Oh! I didn't expect any visitors!" Johanna bowed at then both. "The house is quite a mess!" She muttered, embarrassed.

"We didn't come for your house, Jo." Heinkel gruffed.

"Yes, a certain General said you'd come back from the dead. Heinkel here didn't believe him."

"Neither did you." Heinkel growled back. Darius made a face, a face of agreement, and belly laughed.

"But here you are, girl! Walking and talking!" Darius clapped a giant hand on Joanna's shoulder, nearly taking her down with it's force. Thankfully Edward was there to hold her up. Darius gave an apologetic smile, lifting his hand from her shoulder.

"I'm sorry, it would seem I'm not at full strength yet." Johanna apologized. "Doctor Knox says it shouldn't be too long now. I've put on a lot of weight since I… well, since I came back." She choked out, her throat feeling tight. She cleared her throat, putting on a tight smile. Heinkel returned her smile with one of pity and he moved around Darius, gently grabbing her shoulder.

"You look much healthier than a dead person." He told her, earning a bitch face.

"Thanks, lion." She growled, though her growl gave way to a small laugh. Heinkel ruffled her hair, standing back to his full height. "Your boyfriend here tells us you're quite the cook, is that so?" Johanna's eyes lit up and she grinned at her guests.

"I've been practicing!" She told them happily. "Oh! That must mean you're hungry! Let me get some dinner started!" She told them, dashing back into the kitchen.

Edward watched her go, a smile on his face as she began to dig into the icebox. Heinkel sighed, moving to the couch. He picked up several prices of clean laundry, placing them back in the basket from which they came, before sitting on the couch.

"Yeah sure, just make yourself at home!" Edward groused playfully. Heinkel sighed, removing his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"She didn't know we were coming, Fullmetal?" He asked Edward.

"It's Edward now, and no, I didn't tell her." Edward sighed, leaning against the wall behind the couch.

"Why not?" Darius asked, offended.

"Because if I told her you guys were coming, she'd feel like she had to go into town. She hates it there." Edward told them simply, a painful smile on his face. "She hasn't told me as much, but I can tell. She hates going into Resembool because people stare at her."

"What? Why?" Heinkel growled, stiffening in his seat. Edward shrugged.

"There's a lot of… expectations." Edward started. "They think she's strange because she came back so…" Edward couldn't say it, he hated seeing her that way, thinking of her how she was, so sickly, so sad. "She was so ill when she returned and the town's people couldn't help but talk about her. Talk about us living together."

"Those bastards." Darius muttered. Heinkel glared at the floor beneath his feet.

"If I can hear them talking, I know Johanna can." Edward sniffed, looking at the door. From inside the kitchen he could hear the sounds of food cooking, pots and pans being filled. He couldn't help but smile at the sounds of life that filled his house now where it had once been so quiet.

"You protect her too much." Heinkel said finally. Edward's eyes widened and he turned to look at his old friend.

"What."

"I agree." Darius chimed in.

"You can't keep her holed away, Fullmetal."

"It's Edward! And I'm not doing that-"

"Are you sure?" Heinkel continued. Edward stopped in his tracks. "You should've given her the option to come. She has to learn to grow if you want her to get better." Heinkel scolded him. "Hurt is part of the process. It helps us learn and grow and without that we'd be a stagnant naive mess." Edward paused for a second, thinking hard on what Heinkel had said.

_Maybe he's right. Maybe I should make her go out more. _Edward thought with a frown. "I never realized that I could be holding her back." Suddenly he felt terrible, guilt washed over his face.

"Don't beat yourself up over it, some growth she needs… some… not so much."

"Has she performed any alchemy since being home?" Darius asked finally. Edward sighed shaking his head.

"She doesn't even want to talk about it. Every time I bring it up-"

"That's a boundary that shouldn't be tested." Heinkel told him.

"if she's not ready for alchemy then why is she ready to hear people talk about her!"

"She's not a child Edward. People talk, it's something that will continue to happen so she'll have to get used to it, but I think your want for her to do alchemy is selfish." Heinkel said, finally letting it all out. Edward froze. "Tell me, why does she need her alchemy so badly, Edward?" Heinkel asked, using his name.

"I just want her to know it's nothing to be afraid of." Edward growled. Heinkel chuckled.

"Or do you wanted to know if she can still do it? Do you want to go back to the gate?" Heinkel pried.

"You're insane, I'd never-"

"You say that, but maybe you miss the power?"

"I don't miss any of that! How dare you insult me in my house!" Edward hissed, trying his best to keep his voice down. Heinkel remained quiet, watching Edward with a sad face. Edward groaned, hitting the wall with his fist. "I don't miss any of that, the only thing in this world I've ever missed was her, I just want her back!"

"But she is back." Darius told him quietly. "Listen, can't you hear her?" He said, gesturing to the kitchen. Edward froze, turning his face to look at the kitchen door. He could still hear the sounds of her cooking and humming from within. It even smelled great in the living room, evidence of their dinner, no doubt. "What part of her do you still miss?"

"I feel like her spirit has been… broken." There was a silence, the shuffling of feet from behind Edward. Suddenly a hand was on his shoulder.

"Alchemy can't fix that, Edward, and you know that." Heinkel told him. Edward groaned, nodding as he did. "She needs your support and constantly triggering her isn't helping-"

"Guys, dinner is almost ready!" Johanna called from inside. The shuffling of feet. "I just made something easy, some leftovers, I hope that's alright." She said, peeking her head around the door frame. "Oh, is everything okay?"

"Everything is fine, Jo." Edward gave her a smile, one that Johanna returned. "Dinner smells amazing."

"Thank you." Johanna blushed, returning to the kitchen.

* * *

"NO!" Johanna screeched, sitting up in her bed. Her heart was pounding, she was wet with sweat. Her nightmares we're persistent since she'd been back from the other side of the gate, even several months later. All Johanna wanted was to live her life without them.

Outside of her room, Johanna could hear footsteps thumping down the hall. Her door opened, revealing a frantic Edward.

"Jo?!" He gasped, studying her room for whatever caused her screaming. Johanna sobbed, pulling her knees to her chest and burying her face in her arms.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Johanna cried. Edward frowned at her, crossing her room slowly. He sat down on the bed beside her, watching her quietly. "I can't get away from these stupid nightmares!"

"It's okay, Jo." He told her, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her to him.

"Is everything alright?"

"We heard screaming." Darius and Heinkel had now joined the party. Johanna didn't look up at them, but at least by now her sobbing had stopped.

"I can still feel myself being torn apart." She whispered, shuddering. "Every time I have a dream, it's your circle that starts it all." Edward felt his stomach drop, she was referring to the circle he drew to bring her back. Edward frowned up at Heinkel and Darius who watched him with judgmental eyes. Subconsciously, Edward pulled her closer, resting his chin on top of her head.

"I'm sorry." Was all he could muster. He knew it would take time for her to heal completely, but he was starting to get worried about her progress. It took her several months to put on a healthy amount of weight, she never had an appetite, and now she's still having nightly terrors. Even now, she still felt so small in his arms.

He wished he could remember what helped him through his PTSD when he'd gotten back home but it was so long ago and he internalized most of it, which he knew Johanna was not capable of. He didn't want her to anyways, it wasn't healthy.

"I'll call Dr Knox." Edward said quietly.

"No, please don't!" Johanna begged, finally raising her head to look at him. Edward frowned at her. Her eyes were rimmed purple, she was exhausted and it showed on her pretty face. God, how Edward worried about her. "His sedatives don't work and it's late. I don't want to bother him." She whispered. Even though she'd gained some weight back from being behind the door, He had never seen her look so sickly. He felt helpless.

"I'll go get you some water, Jo." Heinkel offered, but Johanna refused.

"No, I'm sorry to wake you, you two should go back to bed." Johanna smiled at them, a forced smile. Heinkel and Darius didn't look to believe her, but they both left the room, shutting the door as they did.

"I don't know how to help you…" Edward said finally, after a long silence. It had happened so long ago, when he drew that circle. Johanna froze, staring down at the sheets at her feet. He sounded so sad, so defeated. She sniffed, running her hand through her hair.

"Just promise me you'll never think about doing that again." She cried, leaning against him.

"I promise." Edward swore. The pair sat in silence for what felt like forever before Johanna spoke again.

"Will you lay with me?" She asked. The question caught Edward off guard and he froze, clutching at her shoulder and tightening his grip around her.

"Wha-"

"Forget it, it was a stupid suggestion. I'm sorry." She whispered, going to turn away. Edward didn't let her, and he held her closer to him.

"No!" He reassured her. "No, of course I'll lay with you." Edward smiled, moving under her covers and laying back onto his elbows. Johanna watched him quietly, following his lead as he placed his head on the spare pillow. To Edward's surprise, Johanna place her head on his chest, timidly draping her arm over hm. He followed suit, wrapping his arms around her shoulder.

"Thank you." She told him, her face on fire. She knew that his face was probably just as red as hers.

"You're welcome." He told her, clearing his throat awkwardly.

After a few minutes, Edward felt Johanna's body relax, her soft snoring filling the room. He smiled, relieved, running a hand through her dark curls. He closed his eyes, but not before kissing the top of her head quietly.

"Goodnight, Jo." He whispered as he settled in.


End file.
